I’ll be honest — holding a grudge comes naturally to me.
I have a long memory and can recall, in fine detail, all manner of slights, insults, and wrongs made against me for the past forty years. Combined with my love of being right, this leaves me inclined to grasp onto grudges and hold tight with impassioned zeal.
Which makes me qualified to state, after years of experience, that holding a grudge ultimately causes more harm than good.…
Given the marketing hype around Valentine’s Day each year, you could be forgiven for thinking relationships are meant to resemble the elaborately-worded greeting cards, floral arrangements, decadent delights, sparkling jewelry, and gushes of romanticism we see in the media.
For this reason, many people eschew Valentine’s Day and dismiss it as a ploy to sell more stuff. Perhaps they’re right — the commercialization of Valentine’s Day does seem to grow each year.…
If I asked how your personal energy levels are right now, what would you say? Most people tend to respond with words like tired, sluggish, or drained to explain their current physical state.
If I then asked how you’d increase those levels, what would you say? Most people tend to respond with physical fixes, such as drinking coffee, tea or other stimulants, or getting some extra sleep.…
When were you last congratulated for quitting? Most of us would be hard-pressed to remember such a time. After all, quitting is usually associated with failure, weakness, and giving up. Being labeled a “quitter” is not something many people aspire to.
Instead, our achievement-oriented culture urges us to push through adversity, overcome all obstacles, and strive for success. Yet, quitting — like failure — is a normal part of life.…
The holiday season is traditionally portrayed as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness, where we give thanks for the past and look forward to the future.
In reality, it’s usually a time when we try to squeeze more things — parties, shopping, social activities, food, drinks, gifts — into our already full lives. We often do these things out of a sense of obligation, in the belief they’ll make our loved ones happier and bring us closer together.…
Do you spend much of your life “in your head,” analyzing decisions you’ve made, going over things you could have done better? Do you rehearse upcoming conversations, try to anticipate others’ reactions, or attempt to plan future activities down to the smallest details? Do you feel exhausted by this drain of mental energy, and find yourself unable to make decisions?
If so, chances are you’re an overthinker.…
Think of the last time a friend went through a difficult situation. Maybe he or she made a mistake, failed, or experienced a setback. More than likely, you empathized with his or her struggles, and then offered reassurance, support, and help to overcome the situation.
Now think of the last time you experienced a setback or made a mistake.
Were you supportive of yourself?…
If you struggle with self-doubt, you’re not alone. Even the most confident among us can feel insecure from time to time.
But believing we should feel confident all the time – and that there’s something wrong with us if we don’t – is a fallacy. Not only is it unrealistic, it’s not necessary.
No-one is immune from that persistent voice telling us we’re not good enough, smart enough, funny enough, or attractive enough.…
The world is our buffet. In our hyper-connected society, we’re presented with so many opportunities to “do” — to connect online, to keep up with social media, to attend social events, parties, sporting activities, and webinars. We can learn new things, meet new people, network, and do whatever our hearts desire (including things we didn’t even know we wanted to do).…
Have you ever had that “Gaahh!” feeling? Like there’s too much on your plate, your brain is frozen, and you’ll tip over the edge if someone asks you to do one more thing?
If so, you’re not alone. Life feels overwhelming at times. Each day can pass in a flurry of activity without ever feeling like you’re getting things done. With so much left to do, you’re not sure how you’ll get through the day, week, month, or year.…
I’m struck by how often people tell me they’re unhappy. We live in one of the most prosperous times in history, yet when I talk to people about what’s missing from their lives, most answers boil down to this: “I want to be happy.”
Which implies people don’t feel happy now.
As a society, we have more possessions, opportunities, and access to more resources than ever before.…
Most people believe that aiming for perfection is a good thing. But it can be a dangerous compulsion.
In our success-driven society, being perfect is the ultimate goal. The traits of perfectionism — constant striving, attention to detail, high standards, commitment to results, direction, hard work, achievement, planning and preparation — are highly praised and admired.
However, ask a perfectionist what his or her life is really like and the response is stark:
Perfectionism, when taken to its extreme, has negative consequences.…
