All posts by Michelle Manskie

How to Avoid the Dangers of Perfectionism in 6 Steps

How to Avoid the Dangers of Perfectionism in 6 Steps

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Most people believe that aiming for perfection is a good thing. But it can be a dangerous compulsion.

In our success-driven society, being perfect is the ultimate goal. The traits of perfectionism — constant striving, attention to detail, high standards, commitment to results, direction, hard work, achievement, planning and preparation — are highly praised and admired.

However, ask a perfectionist what his or her life is really like and the response is stark:

  • “If I’m not the best, then I’m a failure.”
  • “I can’t ask for help, people will think I’m not good enough.”
  • “I’m exhausted but I can’t relax — I always have to stay one step ahead.”
  • “I never feel satisfied and nothing I do is enough.”
  • “If I make a mistake it proves I’m worthless.”
  • “I feel hollow, like I can never be happy.”
  • Perfectionism, when taken to its extreme, has negative consequences.…

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    The Busy Trap and How to Get Out of It

    The Busy Trap and How to Get Out of It

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    I caught up with an old friend recently. When I asked how she was, she replied “Busy!” — as if I was interested in her to-do list rather than how she was feeling.

    Her response isn’t unusual. Many of us answer that question with “Busy!” before listing all the things we’re doing, our partners are doing, or our kids are doing.…

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